


turning in circles and blurring the lines

by thatwasanticlimactic



Series: love will do what it does (winter femslash week 2021) [2]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: ATLA Winter Femslash Week 2021, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bumi ll (Avatar) Has Tourette's, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Kya ll (Avatar), Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kya is injured but it isn't graphic, Protective Lin Beifong, Sokka and Zuko are mentioned, it's not relevant but i want everyone to know, lin goes feral, that was my alternative title, they are already together, toph i mentioned a lot more than i realized and i am okay with that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29156592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwasanticlimactic/pseuds/thatwasanticlimactic
Summary: It was a drastic shift— feeling so lost that sound meant nothing then breaking down into a hollow vessel. Love will do what it does, she supposes. Her love for Kya was the heat stirring in her brain and keeping her sane.Because she couldn’t lose everything until she lost Kya.And she wouldn’t let that happen.[orKya ll / Lin fic that takes place when Lin sees Kya injured after fighting the Red Lotus + flashbacks:)]
Relationships: Lin Beifong/Kya II
Series: love will do what it does (winter femslash week 2021) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137812
Comments: 6
Kudos: 72
Collections: Winter ATLA Femslash Week 2021





	turning in circles and blurring the lines

**Author's Note:**

> this is for day two of femslash week! i used the prompt angst (with a happy ending) because i love angst... a lot...
> 
> thank you to Elle for beta reading for me<3
> 
> it's my first time writing for Kya or Lin so i was pretty nervous! but i was able to include the obligatory Zukka so:)

The whole world seldom falls into silence.

It had been hours, and still Lin heard nothing. It was as if everything was on mute —

she could see mouths moving, but she couldn’t hear the words they spoke. Somehow, still, she was able to understand.

Logically, she knew that the Red Lotus was dangerous and that it was unwise to assume they’d all be safe (that’s what they did last time, and that’s how Sokka died), but they were older, they were stronger. There were more of them this time.

She had assumed that Air Temple Island was a safe place. Everyone had. 

But Kya…

She tried to listen to the logical part of her brain, the one that told her to remain impartial. Kya wasn’t the only one taken captive by the Red Lotus. All of the airbenders were.

_ (The even more logical part of her knew that if it comes down to it, saving Korra was more important than saving Kya, but that thought felt like the sting of a knife driven into her side). _

So, she remained stoic, she kept her face straight. They had a mission. And they were going to save Korra, and the airbenders,  _ and _ Kya. They were.

_ (“You’re such a pessimist,” Kya laughed, poking at her face. _

_ Lin scowled and shoved her hand away. “It’s not pessimism, it’s realism. I’d rather be prepared for the worst than think everything will turn out great,” she growled. _

_ “Ah, spoken like the daughter of Toph Beifong,” snorted Kya, snatching her hand and holding tight so she couldn’t pull away. _

_ “Says the daughter of Katara,” retorted Lin, doing her best to stop herself from smiling. “What were you saying the other day about how we need to have hope?” _

_ “It’s called optimism, Grumpy.” _

_ “Whatever.” Even still, she pressed a quick kiss on her girlfriend’s neck.) _

Maybe Kya was rubbing off on her more than she thought.

She couldn’t quite process how she felt, not that she had ever been good at that in general. Her body was stiff, more so than usual, but at the same time, her legs were shaking so hard she could collapse at any second.

She ran a hand over her face, digging her nails into her skin, relishing in the fact that the pain made her  _ feel  _ something.

It was unsettling, sitting on Oogi and just… waiting. Waiting to get there, hoping they’d get there on time. It was aggravating. It made her restless.

Lin huffed as she stood up and walked to the back of the bison where Tenzin was laying, his head leaning back against the fur, his eyes closed. It was a sad sight, one that made her fists clench and face tighten. Sure, she never got along too well with the airbender, but it was hard to see him this broken.

“Hey,” she spoke, her voice gruff and quiet, as she sat down next to him. “You okay?”

“I’ll live.”

Lin still couldn’t hear properly. Everything sounded muffled, even Tenzin. Fear will do that to a person, she learned. It’ll chip away at every part of you until there’s nothing left but empty eyes and a hardened heart. If she didn’t see Kya soon, she worried that the edges of her vision would turn black, that touch would mean nothing to her anymore as her body numbed.

It was a drastic shift — feeling so lost that sound meant nothing then breaking down into a hollow vessel. Love will do what it does, she supposes. Her love for Kya was the heat stirring in her brain and keeping her sane.

Because she couldn’t lose everything until she lost Kya.

And she wouldn’t let that happen.

It was the waiting that placed its hands over her ears, it was living in the helpless feeling of the unknown, it was not knowing if Kya or Bumi or any of them were alive that pressed against her, harder and harder.

“Think they’ll be okay?” She lost her gaze in the blur of the clouds as they passed.

“I don’t know,” said Tenzin. “But I have faith in them.”

Lin said nothing in return. What was there to say?

A hand fell on her knee, large and gentle. “Kya’s strong.  _ And  _ she’s got Bumi with her,” he laughed, strained and wistful. “Together they can cause more damage than anyone I’ve ever known.”

She wished she too could laugh at that, even half-heartedly. It was true. She’d never known anyone as strong as Kya, except maybe Korra. But she was the Avatar so she had to be strong. Kya was just… inherently strong.

_ (“I don’t want to be a healer!” young Kya groaned, flopping on the ground beside Lin. “I want to be a crazy powerful bender like my mom.” _

_ Lin patted her back sympathetically. “I thought you weren’t into violence. Isn’t peace like, your thing?” _

_ Kya rolled her eyes, glaring at her friend. “I never said I wanna kill anyone or anything. I just want mom to teach me cool tricks like dad teaches Tenzin. He can do an air scooter! All I learned to do is make a stupid wave.” She pouted, crossing her arms. _

_ “Didn’t Katara say that you have… what was it again? Oh yeah. ‘The potential to become a great healer’?” asked Lin, nudging Kya with her shoulder. _

_ “Ugh, I guess.” _

_ Lin frowned. She never liked seeing Kya sad or defeated. “I bet that once you become the best healer in the world, your mom will teach you how to become the best waterbender too,” she suggested. “Mom once said something about how you have to start small or you have to really make yourself do… the thing…” she trailed off when she noticed Kya staring at her with a dumbfounded expression. “Hey, give me a break! At least your mom  _ tries _ to make sense! Mine does her best to confuse Suyin and I because ‘if she can learn from badger moles, then we can too’. She never makes any sense.” _

_ That made Kya chuckle. “I guess that makes sense. Focus on one thing at a time or you’ll lose everything, right?” _

_ Lin facepalmed. “That makes so much more sense.” _

_ “Eh, dad tells us stories from when he mastered the four elements. He has a really short attention span, so he kept trying new things and then forgetting the old.” _

_ “That sounds about right.” _

_ “I guess you are right. So wise, just like your mom,” Kya teased, nudging Lin’s shoulder in return but with her elbow instead. _

_ “Ow!” _

_ She snorted. “Wuss.” _

_ “Oh, like I’m the wuss,” Lin retorted, a grin crawling up her face despite her best efforts. “You try having boulders thrown at you on the daily to teach you how to bend and then you call me a wuss.” _

_ Kya slapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide with a glint of evil, and leaned closer. “You want to know who the real wuss is? Tenzin! He told me that he’s scared of Toph!” _

_ Lin screeched, a rare noise from her, falling back into the grass. “Okay. Neither of us are classified as wusses, then. Just Tenzin.” _

_ “Yup, only Tenzin!”) _

Lin rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. The words  _ “are we there yet?” _ were dancing on the edge of her lips, but she couldn’t bring herself to say them. She knew the answer: they weren’t. Oogi could only fly so fast. He must be exhausted, carrying as many of them as he was.

Still didn’t calm her nerves, but it pushed some of her raging worry away.

It felt like forever before they finally landed at Air Temple Island. She wanted more than anything to jump off of Oogi and look for Kya, but she had to be smart. She couldn’t jump in head first with no plan. This was the Red Lotus they were up against and there were too many people at risk to go in unprepared.

The group followed Kai’s directions, her heart pounding harder and harder in her chest as she ran on, trying to prepare herself for the possibility of no survivors. It was a grim thought, one that made her nauseous.

But then she saw her. And again, the world fell into silence. 

Lin stopped dead in her tracks, her chest heaving. She didn’t notice her sister embracing Opal or Kai going to Jinora.

Because there was Kya,  _ her _ Kya, laying on the ground with her eyes fluttering in and out of focus. With bruises coating her faces, her clothes tattered. With her face in a constant grimace of pain. And suddenly, nothing else in the world mattered.

Lin shook her head, getting a hold of herself and racing towards her girlfriend, kneeling at her side. “Kya, hey,” she whispered, gently tapping on her face in an attempt to draw her attention. “Hey, can you look at me?” She spoke with a tenderness, a hushed tone reserved for special occasions. For Kya.

And there it was, that persistent banging of drums in her ears, a rhythmic thud that rang so loudly that the rest of the world was nothing more than words that never left the mouth. Slowly, very slowly, Kya turned her head and her brown eyes met Lin’s, her lips just barely curving when she managed to focus in on her.

“Are you alright?” she asked, not really expecting a verbal answer but wishing she would receive one nonetheless.

Kya’s sharp intake of breath was more than enough of an answer.

A pinch at the back of her head made her turn her head just in time to see Pema’s lips moving. Like an echo at the tips of her ears, she saw more than she heard Pema speak. “We need to get them somewhere safe. I don’t know how much longer they can go without medical assistance.”

At that, she blinked, noticing that Bumi was barely conscious as well, right beside Kya. And for a second, she felt guilty because she cared for the new bender just as much as her girlfriend, though on different levels of intimacy. “Kya, Bumi,” she said, speaking softly but authoritatively enough to snag their attention. “We’re going to get you out of here, okay? This might hurt, but we have to move you.”

She gestured for someone to come help her. An airbender she recognized as Otaku stepped forward. “You help Bumi, I’m getting Kya,” she told him. Without waiting for a response, she carefully positioned her arms under Kya’s back and legs (and that’s when she noticed the unnatural angle her right leg was in and did her best not to jostle it). She stood up, cradling Kya in her arms.

When Otaku had Bumi on his feet and an arm around his shoulder, she said, “We have to get these two out of here  _ now _ .” She stole another glance at the waterbender. “They don’t look so good.”

Tonraq’s lips were moving, and when she forced the drumming silence away, she could hear him. “You guys get everyone out of here. I’ll search for Korra.”

She didn’t wait around for everyone else to valiantly say they were coming with; it was a given at this point. She nodded at Otaku and the two headed out. “We’ll leave them with Oogi and then rejoin the fight,” she informed him once they were away from the group.

“Will they be okay?”

“They better be.”

_ (“I can’t believe you!” Lin shouted, slamming her hands on the table in front of her. _

_ Kya sighed, resting her elbows on said table and placing her head in between them. “It’s fine, Grumpy,” she grumbled. _

_ “Fine? It’s fine? Yes, because putting your life in danger willy-nilly is absolutely great!” she retorted, venom in her voice. “You could have died!” _

_ “Yeah, but I didn’t,” Lin scoffed, rolling her eyes for dramatics. “No one got hurt so we can all just forget about this and _ _ — _ _ ” _

_ “No one got hurt?” hissed Lin, sitting down so she was opposite Kya and sending a harsh glare her way. “No one got hurt? So, you're just ‘no one’, then?” _

_ “Look, I really thought I’d be able to use the river to catch myself. But now I know, I can’t.” _

_ Lin’s eyes flickered from the bandage on Kya’s head to the cast around her left leg. “Do you even know how scared I was when one of my men told me they found my girlfriend unconscious in the woods? We were supposed to relax this week! And now you have to get healed and--” she cut herself off, rubbing her temple. _

_ A hand, soft and caring, landed on top of hers. She looked at Kya who was smiling fondly at her. She wanted to stay angry, she really did, but the way her girlfriend’s thumb rubbing against her palm was so soothing. “Grumpy, I’m sorry for scaring you. I thought I could catch myself.” She sighed again. “Tenzin just wrote to the family about how he finally nailed that trick dad had been trying to teach him. You know, that one where he free falls and then catches himself with little bursts of air until he’s back on the ground? I got… a bit jealous. And wanted to figure out how to use water from a stream to do the same thing. To spite him.” _

_ Lin chuckled wearily, squeezing Kya’s hand. “I was just… I was worried, okay? You keep trying these stupid things and keep getting hurt and it reminds me of Suyin.” _

_ With a goan, Kya stood, leaning across the table to give Lin a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be more careful. I promise.” _

_ “Don’t strain yourself,” muttered Lin, taking a deep breath to calm the beating of her heart. “Let’s get you to a healer to finish taking care of your leg and then I can take the rest of the day off. We can go back to my place and… cuddle or whatever.” _

_ Kya nodded, using her good leg to push the chair aside. _

_ “Let me help you.” Lin was at her side immediately, wrapping one arm around her waist. _

_ “And you call me the sappy one.” _

_ “Shut up.”) _

Lin was startled awake by a hand covering hers. Well, it wasn’t the surprise at the contact that awoke her, rather the familiarity of the gentle rubbing of a thumb against her palm. Her back cracked and she straightened it, blinking a few times to adjust her eyes to the dark.

And there was Kya. Her strong, courageous, stupid, beuatiful Kya with a dopey grin on her face. 

“Hey, Grumpy. Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Kya. How’re you feeling?” Her words weren’t rushed, they didn’t fly out of her mouth like she expected them to. Instead, they were tired, drawn out as she returned to reality.

Korra. Zaheer. The poison. Kya.  _ Everything. _

“I’ve been better,” was her response, and she sounded just as exhausted, “but, I’m alright. How’s Bumi? And everyone else?”

Lin swallowed thickly. “Last I checked, Bumi was about the same as you. All the other airbenders are fine, just the occasional bump or bruise. Nothing to worry about.” She paused, taking a second to squeeze Kya’s hand. “Korra… she’s not good. I know my sister knows what she’s doing but… I’m still worried. There was so much metal in the poison…”

It was moments like these, these rare moments, that she really wished her mom was here and on the grid. Toph was the best metal bender around, and while Suyin had regained _ some _ trust, she still knew that her mom was their best bet at ensuring Korra’s safety.

She explained everything that happened while Kya was out in a hushed voice, not wanting to stress her out more than necessary. The grip on her hand tightened as the story went on and on. By the end, Kya looked as if she had just gotten up and run a marathon with the sheen of sweat on her forehead and the way she seemed to sink deeper and deeper into her bed.

“Oh, that poor girl,” she finally mumbled, her voice hoarse.

“Yeah,” was all Lin could say in response.

There was a certain furrow in Kya’s eyebrows, a certain twitch in her face, one that Lin knew all too well. “There’s nothing you could have done.”

“Actually, there’s a lot I could’ve done,” argued Kya. “They’re just kids, Lin, all of them.”

“So were our parents.”

“Doesn’t make it any easier to swallow. Sometimes, I look back at the uneventful childhood we had and I… I almost wish we didn’t have it. So we could get all of this out of the way and Korra and her friends could live their lives and I could go more than a couple months at a time without worrying about the safety of my nieces and nephews.”

A few silent tears slid down her cheeks, and Lin reached over to wipe them away. “I know.”

_ (Lin found Kya sitting on the edge of the docks. “Hey,” she said, her voice hard and far from the level of comfort she was trying to bring. _

_ “Hi.” _

_ “You okay?” asked Lin, sitting beside her just close enough so their shoulders were touching. _

_ A shrug. “About the same as you are.” _

_ “You knew him better than me.” _

_ “That doesn’t matter,” replied Kya, shaking her head. “I’m more worried about mom and Uncle Zuko anyways.” _

_ Lin cringed. “I can’t even imagine. Mom is pretty torn up about it. It’s… kinda hard to watch. Not that she’s let me try and comfort her. She was pretty close with Uncle Sokka.” _

_ “Do you feel…” Kya trailed off and Lin could feel her body shaking. “Do you feel like there’s something we could have done? We were so close, Lin. So close.” _

_ “Yeah. I know it’s not my fault but I still feel responsible.” The far off look in Sokka’s eyes was the last she saw of him before Zuko had pushed past them and fell to his side. No matter how hard she tries, Lin is certain she will never forget the sound of Zuko’s broken wails. “It doesn’t feel real.” _

_ Kya sniffed and when Lin turned to her, she saw tears in her girlfriend’s eyes. She wished she could cry like that too. She wanted to cry, to have some sort of physical reaction, but she just couldn’t. She had never been one to cry. _

_ “I was… I was talking to mom,” Kya spoke up softly. “Her husband’s gone, and now her brother. She told me that waterbending couldn’t heal the heart. I still tried. Figured it would… absolve my guilt or something. She was right.” _

_ “I wish it worked that way.” So then she wouldn’t see the blood on her hands. It wasn’t either of their faults. She knew that.  _ She knew.  _ But it had been a couple days since her uncle had died and the invisible blood wouldn’t wash away despite how much she scrubbed at them. _

_ His death became a chip on her shoulder, one of many. This one weighed heaviest, though. It was a grief too terrible to name, a guilt too big of a burden to carry on her own. _

_ At least she and Kya shared that burden.) _

Healing was a process. A rather unpleasant process. Whether more so for Kya or Lin, she wasn’t sure. Healers had learned early on that broken bones are harder to mend depending on circumstance. Kya’s could have been healed… had it been cared for after a couple of hours. Unfortunately, she wasn’t quite that lucky. So, she was stuck with a cast and a crutch for a couple of months.

She fared better than Korra, though. Lin supposed everyone did, really.

And she was never the overprotective type. No, in her small social circle, that was Tenzin’s role. But after everything that had happened, how out of control she felt, she couldn’t help but worry about Kya and her healing process.

“Grumpy, I’m fine,” Kya sighed, clearly agitated.

“I know you are,” grumbled Lin. Though she acknowledged it, she kept her hand hovering beside Kya’s elbow. “I just don’t want you to strain your leg is all.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“I’ll take insufferable over you deciding your leg healed when it didn’t and then doing something stupid,” she reasoned, forcing herself to take a step back while Kya sat down.

“Me? Stupid? Never,” laughed Kya, humming happily as she leaned back into the chair. “But for real, Grumpy, I’m feeling a lot better. You don’t need to be so anxious.”

Lin kissed the top of her girlfriend’s head before grabbing their lunch and setting it on the table and taking her seat. “Just want to make sure I’m taking care of you.”

“Since when have you been so sappy? I thought  _ I _ was supposed to be the sappy one and you were the grouchy old lady!”

“I am not an old lady,” Lin snapped on instinct. She was sure her cheeks had turned a shade of pink when she saw Kya’s raised brow. “I just really love you today. I guess.”

_ (The words never came easy to her. Lin found that she could never say them to her mom or her sister, even to the kids she grew up with her whole life. But when she looked at Kya, she wanted to say them so badly. _

_ It was an ache in her chest longing to be free, burning.) _

“Ooh, how did I get so lucky?”

_ (“I love you,” said Kya. _

_ And she never had to ask to hear those three words. Kya could say them so easily. _

_ “I love you, Grumpy.” _

_ “Ha! Lin, I love you.” _

_ “You’re the best! I love you.”) _

“Maybe it’s because you don’t know how to sit still and let someone care for _ you _ , healer?”

_ (The thought of it came naturally, as simple as existing. She thought it with every touch on the shoulder, each time her lips pressed against her skin, with every breath Kya took. _

_ It was easy to think, to be certain of.) _

Kya snorted. “That’s rich coming from you. Remember that time you hit your head on the street and got a concussion but wouldn’t let me heal you?” she smirked. “Or what about that time you slammed your hand in the door? You didn’t let me heal you then either. Or there’s that time you were trying to show me a new trick your mom taught you but it backfired and you slammed a boulder against your chest? You didn’t let my mom, the best healer in the world, heal you then either. Oh or — ”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, move on,” groaned Lin, taking a bit of the leftover roasted duck on her plate and a swig of water.

_ (They were stuck to the tip of her tongue, precariously sitting there. _

_ Love was easy to give but harder to maintain. She trusted Kya with her whole heart, but still, it scared her a little bit. _

_ The ease with which she thought them scared her too.) _

Kya raised her hands in surrender. “I’m just saying. No throwing that out there if you can’t take it yourself.” She tore off a piece of duck and threw it in her mouth.

“I can take it!”

“Grumpy, don’t kid yourself.”

_ (It was her day off, an afternoon alone with her girlfriend. _

_ They were holding hands, walking down the streets of Republic City and stopping whenever Kya saw something that caught her eye. _

_ They had just finished watching a street bending performance. Lin thought they were ridiculously dangerous, but Kya thought they were fun. She was smiling and cheering for the winner, eyes closed and her nose scrunched up. _

_ “I love you.” _

_ As easy as breathing.) _

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” scoffed Lin.

“You’re lucky I love you,” teased Kya, waving a second piece of duck in her face.

“Love you too.”

As easy as breathing, Kya was her breath of life.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading:)
> 
> i had to rewatch some of the episodes to make sure i was on the right track??? also not relevant but Tenzin and Pema are closer in age because i said so and the three Kataang siblings are closer in age also because i said so, in any and all LoK fics i write:)
> 
> also Kya's affectionate nickname for Lin being Grumpy was an accident but it is now canon in my mind. because i typed it so much. oops haha
> 
> anyways, my tumblr is that-was-anticlimactic if anyone ever wants to talk about Sokka or Bumi ll with Tourette's or anything else:)


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